Cut
by book.lover1586
Summary: On Bella's eighteenth birthday, the one she loves is killed in a car accident. How will she be able to cope with the loss of the man she loves? And when nobody knows of the love these two shared? Based on the song Cut by Plumb.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the song Cut by Plumb

**AN: Hey guys. This is going to be a one chapter story with an epilogue. This story is more serious than Beaches, Mysteries, and Summertime. I based this story off of Cut by Plumb. It is a great song if anyone wants to look it up before or after reading. Hopefully I can make it go along well with the song. Read and review!**

September

This can't be real. I'm dreaming. I will wake up tomorrow and find him here with me. It's my eighteenth birthday. That is supposed to be a magical day, and it would have been. He was on his way to my party. There was too much rain on the road, and he lost control of the car. I only know what I've heard from other people. I can't ruin him now. They wouldn't want to think about him being with a girl as young as me. It would be a disgrace and nobody would ever understand. I need him here. It's just a dream. I will close my eyes, and wake up tomorrow in his arms. I know I will.

October

Alice and I are staying together now. We share a small two bedroom, two bath apartment. This means she will never know what I have started doing. I have two sets of razors. One is for shaving, the other for taking away my pain. I know he would be disappointed in me, but it helps ease the pain. When I cut, I feel free for a little while, and sometimes it is almost like I'm not alone anymore. I love him so much. I will do whatever it takes to feel like I'm with him again. With the weather getting colder, nobody will know anything. I just miss him so much.

November

I don't know how much longer I can do this. I need him. I don't want to be alone anymore. It hurts all the time. Alice sees me closing myself off from everyone, but I can't handle them anymore. They don't know what I'm going through. No one does. I hurt all the time. Everywhere I look, I think I see him. I feel as though I hear his voice all the time. I feel closer to him when I pull out the razors. I know he would never approve, but I can't keep doing this. I don't want to live without him anymore. He was my life, and now he is just gone. How can I live when I have nowhere to turn? I'm alone.

December

I need to be with him. It's getting harder and harder to live through the day. Alice tries to pull me out of it, but she thinks I am just stressed with the first year of college. Nobody knows what's wrong with me. I am alone here, and he is the only one that can help me. He had my heart, and he died with it. I cannot live without him here. He is what I need. Not a party or a movie night with friends. I just need him, but I won't have him anymore. So I pull out my razors and breathe a sigh of relief. This is when I feel something. This is the only time I am not numb.

January

I am going to be with you now. I have decided that I need to be with you more than anything. I cannot keep living a life that doesn't have you in it. Alice believes that I am cramming for an exam that is coming up, so she won't know before it is too late. I am going to be in your arms again. I miss you so much. This will be the last time I will ever have to use these razors. I look at my arms, and all I see are the lines running from my wrist to my elbow. I will be with you soon, my love. This time nothing will be able to take me from your arms. I love you. I will see you soon.

_Alice, I know you will read this diary I have kept. Know that I'm sorry, but I love him. Hopefully when you explain to everyone, they will too. I love him. I need him. Goodbye._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the song Cut by Plumb

Epilogue

Since the moment I met Bella, she was always a ray of sunshine. She walked into my life at a low point, and helped pick me up. Bella was an angel in disguise. She was there for anyone that needed help, and she always had your back. Bella was my angel. She picked me up and gave me the courage I needed to live. She could walk into a room, you noticed her. Bella would never admit that she was noticed like she was because she was modest. She was never the type to dump her feelings onto someone, either. She kept everything inside of her, and I believe that is what led us here today. I never knew what she was going through. I never knew Bella loved him, or I would have been there for her. But now I know she is safe, and where she belongs. -Jacob

I've known Bella since we were born. Our moms were best friends, and it was no different with us. She was always shy and kept to herself. Bella was my best friend, and I knew she was there for me, no matter what happened. Bella never told me about him. I never knew that she even knew who he was. If I had, I could have helped her. I could have tried to save her. We all thought she was cramming for a huge exam that was coming up in a couple of days. That is what she had told us. Told me. Looking back now, I should have persisted that she come out, or at least let me come in. Bella wasn't just my friend. Bella was my sister. I know she isn't in pain anymore, and I am happy for that. Not only that, but she is with him now. And after looking through her last few days of diary entries, she is happy now. -Alice

Bella was like my little sister from the second I met her. She was bubbly and happy most of the time. If she wasn't happy, then someone had done something to hurt one of her friends. I introduced Bella to my younger cousin a couple summers ago. He never said another word about her. I had no idea that they had anything going on, or I would have checked her after her was gone. I didn't know she was hurting, definitely not that bad. But after hearing what the two of them had together, I know she is happier now. She is with him. -Emmett

_Bella is my world. I met her through a chance encounter with my cousin, Emmett. The moment my eyes landed on her, I knew she was it. She was the one I would be with forever. I got her number off of Emmett's phone, and called her that night. She was afraid that they wouldn't like us being together because of our 5 year age difference. She was only 16 and I was 21, but I knew that in a few more years, that little difference wouldn't matter so much. But like she wanted, it was kept a secret from everyone. We had our secret meetings, and late-night make-outs. Bella was special to me. We fell in love, and planned to tell everyone about it on her eighteenth birthday. On my way to her house, I came to an area with too much standing water and lost control of my car. That was the night I died. I watched Bella get worse and prayed every day that she would let someone in. Bella decided to take her life, and now she is here with me. We will always be together. Some love is powerful, even through death. -Edward_

**AN: Review and let me know what you think. By NO MEANS am I promoting self-harm. I just felt that this is a very deep song, and this story came into my head as I listened to it. If you have not already heard the song, go listen to Cut by Plumb. Very deep and powerful song.**


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